i almost thought i was going to have to put my career dreams on hold several different times these last few months (is it just me or does it sometimes feel like your circumstances make your dreams look impossible?) but i am so thankful for my encouraging and supportive family and friends that stay in my ear...and for that i keep going and keep on surviving despite those awful feelings of doubt and fear that creep up on me.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
after the initial shock of being diagnosed with yet another autoimmune disorder, the however long road to recovery and healing became more clear. and that clarity became more real when i was forced to change my diet (obviously for the better, but i sure do miss all the things i can't really eat.), the random aches i feel in my legs because my muscle mass has decreased after being in the hospital for 22 days. (who knew that each day you're in the hospital 1% of your muscle mass decreases but thank goodness you're able to gain it back!), having to rely on friends for the mundane things in my every day life, attending dialysis treatment clinic 3x a week in the evenings where it's cold and i am the youngest patient there, and the fact that this body of mine thinks it can do whatever the hell it wants and i have zero control. and i like to be in control. i had a routine with my internship (which i haven't been attending due to this health crisis) and it was working out great. i had the first 6 months of this year semi-planned out with details about what i need to get done on my ever growing to do list for my future and i liked it that way.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
have you ever experienced fomo? fear of missing out (on something?) you try to remain positive in the midst of adversity. you take all the words of encouragement from friends and family and really try to have the same enthusiasm as them. you go hours occupying yourself with netflix, a book, sleep or walking around to clear your mind but to no avail those gut wrenching human emotions get the best of you with a vengeance.
Monday, January 2, 2017
i haven't posted on this blog for sometime now due to various reasons and i have missed it so. it has seemed like a grueling few months towards the end of 2016 and my body wasn't being so nice to me (and i wasn't being so nice either. literally ate out for 2 weeks straight and paid the price for it). also, i finished my first 600 hours of this year long internship and am looking forward to completing the next 600 hours before i can officially say i'm in my career. and let's not forget about the holidays that just came and went so quickly...i feel like i spent too much time figuring out what gifts to get people and almost going broke that the holidays passed me by.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
i know i don't have everything figured out, but sometimes i like to think so. or at least i like to think that for just a moment i have it all together and am handling life the best way i know how with all of its ups and downs. my friends and i have had tons of conversations within the past couple of weeks about dating, our relationship with our heavenly father, personal aspirations, to when is the next happy hour or turn up and our day to days. sometimes it can be overwhelming juggling everything and realizing you really don't have it all together, but i am so grateful for all the people in my corner. especially my girlfriends. they're kind of the best.